Pick Your Own Ass for a Small Fee

Everyone likes a strong, tight ass instead of one that bounces all around. Some are lucky enough to already have one. Some have to find creative ways to get one. Sure, you can buy the ass of your choosing if you have the money. But what if I need a fine ass for just one night? If I could rent an ass, and return it when it was no longer needed, it would be Jenny from the block. No, not that one. I’m talking about Jenny, the donkey, in the 3rd block on the web site PhilsAnimalRentals.com.

Jenny, the donkey, available for rent from Phil’s Animal Rentals.

Beasts Of Burden For Rent

Donkey rentals– that’s what I’m referring to, and believe it or not, there are actually a number of situations in which renting a donkey makes sense. One of them is NOT for a child’s birthday party unless you want to change the name of the game to “pin the tail on the donkey, spend the rest of the night in the ER while your kid gets his teeth reimplanted, then dodge the other kids’ parents for the rest of your life.” Instead, according to a Buckeye Donkey Ball (because I certainly couldn’t come up with any reasons on my own!) a donkey rental is an ideal choice for Christmas and Easter plays, parades, petting zoo parties, and fundraisers.

I Now Pronounce You Strange

In Greek tradition, the bride and groom ride through town on decorated donkeys.

Completely intrigued with what I learned from Buckeye Donkey Ball, or looking for a way to avoid playing another game of Dora bingo with my daughter, I decided to do some more research on donkey rentals. I was floored at what I found out. Are you ready for this? Some people actually rent a donkey for their wedding. Yep, gives “getting a piece of ass on your wedding day” a whole new meaning, doesn’t it? I’m not sure I would like to arrive to the biggest event of my life or ride off into the sunset atop a burro, but I’ve seen stranger things, like…ummm….ok, I’ve never seen anything stranger than that.

Ridin’ Ass For Money

So back to donkeyball.com. I get the plays, the parades, and the petting zoo – but fundraisers? Apparently, donkey sport fundraising is not a new concept. It’s actually been around since the depression, which is a little sad in itself. I can’t help but feel a little disheartened that for over 80 years, these poor jackasses are being taunted, ridden around, and used for entertainment by a completely different group of jackasses. At least the folks at Buckeye Donkey Ball preach the humane treatment of their animals, so I guess it’s not all just horsing around.

Donkey Rentals Through Rent It Today?

With each passing day, we become aware of new items for rent throughout the world. At this time, Rent It Today does not market any companies offering donkeys for rent, but you never know what the future holds. Be sure to check back every so often to see our new inventory in popular fields like home medical equipment, construction equipment, and party and event rentals.

And…. if a donkey rental is too assinine of an idea for you, maybe renting a chicken won’t lay an egg with your senses.