It’s what separates the boys from the men.
It exudes power.
It demands respect.
The Buzz on Beards
That’s right. A man’s beard does more than make babies cry and women’s faces break out. According to some statistics I found online, that I am quite certain were completely made up by a man with mutton chops, bearded men appear more respected, powerful, and of a higher status. With those accolades, why wouldn’t you grow one? Turns out, it’s actually not that easy. In fact, the number one reason why most men don’t grow a beard is they’re not manly enough. Oops, I mean, they are genetically incapable of growing one.
For the follically-inclined (what do you mean that’s not a word?), not only do you have choices in your style of growth, but you also have an entire circle of support including clubs, websites, conventions, and contests. You basically have your own hairy family all around the world!
The North and the South (AKA: The Mustache and the Beard)
So what about the other side of the chin curtain? What about the men that want to be respected, that want power, that want to be a lumberjack, for crying out loud, but can’t grow a beard?!? Well, don’t throw out your flannel shirts just yet. I may have the answer to your quill queries, and that answer is good old Abe. No, not Abe Lincoln, although he is undisputedly one of the most influential in the nation’s acceptance of the beard. I am actually referring to a man named Abe Tahanaka.
Mr. Tahanaka is part Orthodox Jew and part Japanese. His Japanese relatives were envious of his ability to grow a beard. In an attempt to avoid becoming the shaggy black sheep of the family, he instead came up with a solution so every male in his family could celebrate birthdays with icing unknowingly stuck to their faces. His solution is called Rent-A-Beard.
Hawaii 5-O’Clock Shadow
According to their commercial (that apparently no longer exists), “Now every man can have the beard of his dreams.” And it doesn’t stop there! They even offer reversible beards for those that wish to travel lightly, need a disguise, or have multiple personalities. I added those last two, but I think they are definitely marketable concepts. There’s just one thing that isn’t so great about Rent-A-Beard…yes, I said only one…and that one aspect is they are only available in Hawaii at this time.
Before you book that flight to Hawaii to get your hands on one of these hot items, there are two steps you must complete. First, go to Rent It Today, and reserve everything you will need for your trip including your accommodations, your transportation, your beach equipment, and more. Second, make sure this is an actual product, because I’m pretty certain it isn’t, but I’ve been surprised more than once in this lifetime. To me, it’s a bit of a…wait for it….hairy concept to grasp.