Keep Your Day Classy, Even If You Do Have Wet Nuptials


Wedding Umbrella

With spring right around the corner, the phrase “April showers bring May flowers” is being tossed around like a bride’s bouquet thrown into a pit of single desperate lioness women. So what can be done to brighten up those rainy days? Does renting an umbrella come to mind? It didn’t for me either.

Bella Umbrella is definitely designed for the handful of people that don’t have to Google “occasions to rent an umbrella.” For the rest of us, I’ve gone ahead and done the research, and have concluded umbrella renting actually kinda makes sense in certain situations including a wedding…..and I stress “kinda.”

As a courtesy to you, I’ve provided a quiz (think Cosmo without all the hilarious questions about ways to avoid pregnancy) to determine if you are someone that would benefit from renting umbrellas for your wedding day.

Are you a soon-to-be bride? If yes, please continue. If no, please take a nap.

___Yes

___No

___Been there, done that, not stupid enough to go there again.

 

Do you have money left over in your wedding day budget?    

___Yes

___No

___What are these words “budget” and “money left over” you use?

 

Are you looking for another annoying way to make your occasion different and more memorable than mine? (I mean, seriously, chocolate fountains became available just weeks AFTER my wedding.)

___Yes

___No

___It’s not possible, as you had the most amazingly beautiful and memorable wedding ever in the world since the inception of weddings.

 

Does your wedding party consist of bridesmaids that have the potential to look better than you even though you’ve chosen the most hideous dress for them to wear?

___Yes

___No

___I’ve decided against having a wedding party, cuz ain’t nobody gonna try and steal my thunder on MY big day! You better believe that!!

 

Are you on a high dose of anti-anxiety medication that allows you to plan an outdoor wedding, and then just calmly wait around to see if the weather’s going to cooperate?

___Yes

___No

___My typical breakfast menu includes Ativan, Prozac, Wellbutrin, and a shot of Vodka. Oh, and a cinnamon-crunch bagel.

If you answered yes to the majority of these, the first thing you need to do is call me. I have a feeling you’re going to be my new BFF.

Secondly, you may actually want to look into renting umbrellas for your wedding day. Even if the weather cooperates and the bridesmaids don’t have a lick on you, the umbrellas could be really fun, albeit dangerous, props to bust out when the deejay starts playing the “Booty Call.”

2 comments
Bob Schrichte
Bob Schrichte moderator

Guys are so lucky. Mostly they just have to show up.

Jason Glass
Jason Glass

Interesting Article with a great title!